Conflicts (Part 6) – Levels
In most games we want to reach the highest level. In conflicts it is better not to escalate. Every dispute, discussion or argument has the potential to escalate. An escalation can occur if just one party involved no longer seeks a shared solution or if at least one party leaves the factual level and continues arguing on the relationship level – any by then becomes personal and resort to insult.
In his nine-stage model of escalation, conflict researcher Friedrich Glasl describes possible phases of an escalating conflict. He groups stages by who will win and who will lose. Such models are used as well in game theory and negotiation strategies.
1st Level: Win-Win. Both parties have the chance to win the argument, and both parties still can profit:
Stage 1: Hardening of positions – an everyday disagreement of difference in opinion can become a conflict if the views begin to harden into positions. This often happens without either party noticing.
Stage 2: Polarization and debate – whatever the issue was, it´s now a definite dispute. The parties involved see their arguments as the only correct ones, think in a biased manner, and put the opposite party under pressure.
Stage 3: Actions not words: The pressure increases as their mutual understanding decreases. The conflict is further intensified by breaking off discussions or a refusal to respond.
2nd Level: Win-Lose There are winners and losers
Stage 4: Images and coalitions – the dispute is no longer focused on the original issue but is driven by the desire for the opponent to lose. Alliances and supporters are sought to help damage the image of the other party.
Stage 5: Loss of face: Attempts are made to fundamentally “destroy” the opposing party, for instance, by insuinations and allegations. There is no longer any shared moral ground and complete loss of trust.
Stage 6: Strategic threads: The parties try to take absolute control of the argument using threads and demonstration of power. Threats are issued enforced by sanctions (If you don´t…, then…)
3rd Level: Lose-Lose There are only losers
Stage 7: Limited destructive blows: The parties will even accept limited damage if the results in even greater damage to the opposite party – and any means to achieve it is acceptable
Stage 8: Fragmentation: The opponent is to be destroyed as well as everything providing support.
Stage 9: Together into the abyss: The desire to crush the other party overshadows everything else, including one´s own survival (“Now, we will both die, but you will be more dead than I”)
If you had images of actual conflicts on this planet, your company, neighborhood, or family, just feel reminded, we are living on a normal world. To deescalate, to build bridges and to work on de-escalation is what diplomats, managers, families, and friends are doing every single day. There is no option not to deescalate, but not everybody on this planet shares the same moral, ethics, perspectives.
Sometimes it´s better to ask for support and to bring in a neutral party. If you face such situation, feel invited to talk.
