Conflicts (Part 3) – Modes of Conflict
There are various perspectives to justify a conflict. The following five perspectives may help to categorize them. As a leader it´s helpful to understand the logic of an argument and to see the different logics opponents may follow.
Things: “The soup is too salty. Please bring me a new one.” Even one might take it personal being the cook, tasks differ. The criticism refers to an object and is expressed factually and objectively. Such a conflict can be easily resolved. But if the criticism is directed to the other person´s character, the exchange is no longer objective, and the conflict becomes more complex.
Relationship: “You always leave the cap off the toothpaste! Nobody can be that lazy – but you are!” Interpersonal conflicts are hard to resolve since they usually involve an attack on the other´s character or personality. Such conflicts are often marked b prejudices, insinuations, generalizations, and biased ideas. When they get topped with religious concepts it´s even harder to resolve.
Perception: “I just can´t understand how you could find that beautiful.” Different people have different taste. They may perceive and judge the same thing in diametrically different ways. This leads to divergent opinions which can turn on language, expression and gestures as well as the question of taste.
Roles, expectation, and goals: “They earn so much and do nothing! That´s not why I voted for them!” Specific expectations and goals are associated with each role adopted by a person or group, both in private and public life. Conflicts may develop if expectations and goals are not met or perceived differently.
Resources and distribution: “My brother got a much larger piece of cake – that´s so unfair!” People need resources such as time, money, influence, food… A conflict arises if we believe we have been unfair treated or are disadvantaged in comparison to others. Such feeling does not only arise in families but in all other social groups or among governments.
To understand the foundation of a conflict will be relevant to develop workable strategies to solve them.
If you would like to discuss difficult situations, please feel invited. There may be solutions for all conflicts, and it is not always about submission.
